what i've learned about myself (random rant)

It’s crazy how you can find something new about yourself every day. Lately I’ve been thinking about what I I have really learned about myself. This is what I discovered (all off the top of my head, pardon my randomness):

My laptop, blackberry, itouch, mini notbook, wireless signal and coffee / jamba juice and a studio nearby is all I really need = fuck a office

I have a problem trusting people because of everything I’ve been through as a child

I dumb myself down at times so people can relate… I’m done with that

There’s only about 4 people (including myself) that I 100 percent trust

To go with the trust issue, if someone has my trust and for whatever reason they lose it, there is a 99 percent chance they won’t get it back (won’t say 100 percent because anything is possible)

I’m scared of what the future holds

Some of the best people I ever met wasn’t in a class room, or a board room, or a job. It was off craigslist… still friends with many of them till this day

I had an obsession with living in LA since I was about 10 but at the same time my heart is in New York and I don’t know if I could ever fully leave

Music keeps me sane

I met with millionaires and moguls that can buy me 4 times over . The common theme? Their kids are the most important things to them. The wives? Not so much… these are people I strived to be as child growing up, now that I’m grown and actually know them I don’t want to be like them, mainly for that fact

I wish I was still naïve about the music the music industry, after being in it for so long it was so much better from the outside

I have a DANGEROUS love affair with this music industry, and I’ll be damn if she leaves me

I live life like sports. To further explain sports are the only time in life where you either win or lose with no in between. So I judge myself everyday as a win or a lose ( today being day 169 (126 wins 43 Loses)

Not to sound conceded but I KNOW I’m better than 90 percent of these producers and a&rs and I feel like l run my label a hell of a lot better

I hate the fact I have such a sour relationship with my (immediate)family especially my mother, but I’ve come to terms with it and understand that they will never change and they will only bring me down with them. For me to survive I had to emotionally disconnect from them. I don’t plan on reconnecting… at least I tried

Keeping on with the family thing I hate that my family isn't close. Its honestly feels like they forgot about us.

I have a list of everything I want for 2010, and I will get all of it… or die trying

I've owned a business longer than I've ever had a job. So it pisses me off when people say things like "Show this to so and so, I bet you'll get a promotion / raise / whatever

I hate what drugs did to my family, childhood and life from both perspectives, users and dealers either way they’re both addicted

I really really REALLY hate clubs

The high school version would so kick the 2009 version of myself ass and I sometimes wonder if it’s because I’ve grown up

I drop people out of my life faster than I can blink… and never think twice about it

There is many aspect of myself that I like keep private, and I like that, I feel everyone should have
something that’s is theirs and theirs alone

I still have a jay –z dead presidents cassette single still unopen in its plastic wrapper with the 5.99 price tag on it… really what the fuck..

I have a damn near full bar… I hate drinking… again what the fuck?

I really have a bad addiction to shoes and sneakers

Growing up I had a issue being a mix child, I wasn’t Spanish enough for Spanish people wasn’t black enough for black people but now that ive grown up I realized that everyone’s is screwed up so its ok :)

I’m happier now than I’ve ever been and I like this feeling